Life of the Party, or, Take Me Home Tonight

Being the designated driver for your buddies isn't as bad as many people make it out to be. Companionship with your comrades is more important than intoxication, and knowing that somebody else had a good time because of your sacrifice has its rewards. Besides, when you're the only sober person in the room, everybody else looks to you for advice and thinks you're the wisest guy there.

Watching the White Sox beat the Angels at a sports bar was a great time, followed by joking around with the guys. We then went to a theme bar with a karaoke lounge, where the guys realized they'd had enough to drink.

Intoxicated only on my own hubris, I took to the stage and belted out Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight." At first, I thought I murdered the song. But I improved, added some choreography, and got into the groove. I had won over the crowd. I took a lot of high fives, including congrats from two guys who identified themselves as members of the 58th Special Ops Wing. The ladies went wild too. It reinforces my theory that the way to a woman's heart is a monster ballad.