Chair Force Engineer

Saturday, June 18, 2005

How to Avoid Buying a $500 Hammer

I had just begun to build my life in Albuquerque when I was sent for three weeks of acquisition management training in Dayton. I'm not actually staying in the city, as some dork messed up the hotel reservations for the class I'm taking, and most of the students had to be lodged nearly 20 minutes away from the classroom.

The training can be equally boring and frustrating. The most frustrating aspect is the testing, as it's so hard to cut through the deconstructionist jargon to get to the heart of the questions. Most of the training is common sense, yet it takes so long to convey the message.

The funniest aspect is that one of our many instructors, a Major with a Ph. D. in mathematics, has dozens of corny phrases. "Got your finger in a bowl of chili," "put a warm belly button on that project," and "blowing smoke up your kimono" are just a few of the goofy one-liners in his arsenal.

The only positive aspect of this training is meeting the people I commissioned with, yet again. Tom and Rob and Uriah have all been around on a daily basis. We've gone to dinner countless times. Tom and I wanted to see "Batman" last night, but Uriah the Lush went to a bar instead, so we had to meet him there. The bar gave us a chance to meet up with Milton, a great guy from our ROTC detachment who commissioned in Spring 2004. Uriah took a break from his game of "drunk darts" to put on a demonstration of his dance moves. The crowd went wild, and I took enough pictures to make sure that nobody forgets his mad dancing skills.