Chair Force Engineer

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Laws of Robotics

Forget everything that Isaac Asimov has said about robotics. My ideas for what robots should act like come from the TV show Futurama and its hilarious protagonist, Bender.

1) A robot should use profanity while communicating with humans, robots or aliens (with Robo-Nixon counting as both human and robot.)
2) A robot should consume vast volumes of beer and other potent potables.
3) A robot should steal purses at every opportunity.
4) A robot should adopt as many orphans as possible to maximize the amount of government welfare he collects.

NASA and Sandia Labs had several robots on display at the recent X-Prize Cup. Frankly I found them bemusing rather than amusing. Did these robots start swilling beer or start telling people to "kiss my shiny metal ass"? Hell no. These robots were extremely lame, because they failed all of Bender's basic laws of robotics.

The next robot to fly to Mars should be fueled with beer. Perhaps one of the major breweries will offset the mission costs in exchange for sponsorship. If it was up to me, the next Mars rover would drink Fat Tire.