Chair Force Engineer

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Resolutions 2007

I've been thinking about what I can do in 2007 to make this year go by smoothly and make myself a better person. I'm making these public for two reasons. One, for the people who don't know me, it might give a sense of where I'm coming from and where I want to be. Two, for the people who do know me, it might encourage them to help me stay on track.

1) Tolerate my mother better
I don't get along with my mother. Then again, nobody in my family does. I don't get to pick my parents but I do have to co-exist with them. I want to eliminate all unnecessary conflict and try to be at peace with the people I have to deal with.

2) Eat healthier
I don't want my family to see me die an agonizing death, like the kind that accompanies cardiovascular disorders or diabetes. I want to eat more chicken and vegetables and pastas, while staying away from candy and red meat when possible.

3) Drink less
Again, this goes along with eating healthier. I can't say that I drink that much to begin with, but beer makes me fat, while harder liquor is just poisoning me slowly.

4) Run more, and complete a marathon
In fall 2002, I set a goal for myself that I would complete a marathon within five years. I was geared up to do it in 2006, gradually extending the distance I ran during the spring and much of the summer. Then I found out that the marathon I was shooting for was on the same weekend as the X-Prize Cup. I chose the cup instead, but this year is different. I no longer feel the Cup is important, because I have decided that I am leaving the aerospace and engineering fields. If there is a conflict this time, the marathon wins out. And I have the end of winter, all of spring, all of summer, and part of fall to train myself for this.

5) Tolerate my job better
About a year ago, I realized that the Air Force (and the government in general) was not the place for me to be. A few months ago I realized that I wasn't cut out to be an engineer, either. Yet I still have over two years left on my commitment to the Air Force as an "engineer." So what am I to do about it? Simple: suck it up and take it like a man. At least I'm not dodging IED's on a daily basis, so I guess it's not that bad. My challenge is to serve honorably and try to hide my utter disillusionment. Hopefully I can be force-shaped when fiscal year 2008 begins; if not, I suck it up again for another year.

6) Find out what makes me tick and what makes me happy
I've spent four years on a degree that I'm no longer passionate about, and I'm about to spend another four years in a career field that I plan on leaving at the first opportunity. It's like I'm back in high school, trying to make decisions about what to do for the rest of my life (because I obviously screwed that one up the first time around.) Back then I didn't listen to my conscience, and I went against everything I knew about my aptitudes and abilities (it didn't help that I needed college and some time thereafter to do a little more soul-searching and maturing.) Hopefully when I have to make my next career choice, I'll do it smarter the second time around. I should definitely do my homework and find out what's entailed in the job. If I screw up the second time around, I don't think I'll get a third chance to make things right.

7) Above all, live for The Lord
Last year, when I accepted that I was reliving Office Space every day, a line from a song in that movie stuck in my head. In the Geto Boys' "Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta," the rap group sings "But this gangsta here is a smart one/Started living for The Lord and I'll last." Then it hit me: I was unhappy because I had strayed too far from God. I was working for Caesar (the government) when I should be living (not working, but LIVING life as it was intended to be) for The Lord. I accepted that the lifestyle practiced by Jesus Christ in the Gospels is the blueprint for a happy and productive life. While we are all weak, human and erring, we all have the power to be a personal savior for somebody. I want to dedicate myself to helping the human family and living a life dedicated to the joy that the Lord intended for us to find. At the very least, I can spend my Saturdays helping the downtrodden and the weak to improve their lot in life. I can improve my relationships with people and treat them with the dignity that was intended for us.

This gangsta here will try to be a smart one, and try to make 2007 as good as I can.